Iím So Sorry

Parish Diary

Fr. Peter J. Daly

March 20, 2001

 

††††††††††† Some adults have no idea how much they hurt children.Occasionally it is the child who behaves more maturely than the adult.

††††††††††† This past winter, when 75 of our teenagers went on retreat in preparation for Confirmation, I visited with them for a few hours the first day of the retreat. I got window on how wounded some of them are.Wounded by the behavior of adults who should know better, especially their parents.

††††††††††† At the beginning of the retreat, several teens gave witness talks around the themeďActions Have Consequences, Good and Bad.Ē

††††††††††† One boy reduced the chatty crowd to silence and eventually to tears.He told us the story of his natural fatherís drinking and abandonment of the family.

The young manís talk ended with a poem he had written entitled, ďIím So Sorry.ĒThe poem is a fantasy; what he wishes his father would say to his children, if his dad ever came to his senses and realized how his drinking and absence hurt his two boys who once loved him.

Sometimes it is best if the adults and let young people speak for themselves, so with his permission I am reprinting Jamie Elliotís poem here.I hope it might move some adult to go back his or her children.As the Lord says, ďLet he who has ears, hear.Ē

 

ďIím So SorryĒ

 

The thoughts escape me,

Iíd rather die.

Than look upon you,

And see you cry.

Iím so sorry.

 

The love is lost

Between us two.

I canít imagine

What youíre going through.

Iím so sorry.

 

I cannot share my love.

I donít know how.

But if I should,

The time is now.

Iím so sorry.

 

I can fell your pain.

I know it there.

Some hearts are full,

But your is bare.

Iím so sorry.

 

You donít know how

This makes me feel.

This is a nightmare,

It canít be real.

Iím so sorry.

 

I abandoned you

And left you here.

But coming back

Is what I fear.

Iím so sorry.

 

I see your discomfort,

Your pain and confusion.

My love to you

Is only an illusion.

Iím so sorry.

 

For the suffering Iíve caused you

And the pain you embrace,

I canít find the courage

To look you in the face.

Iím so sorry.

 

I wish there were a way

I could turn bad memories to good.

But I canít. Itís not possible.

Though I know I should.

Iím so sorry.

 

People can show their love

In thousands of ways

But for me, it would only take a

A small fraction of a day.

Iím so sorry.

 

If love was a sickness

Then Iíd be immune

But everyone else

Would catch it soon

Iím so sorry.

 

I sold my soul to the devil

But he wanted a refund

Iíd take back what I have done to you

But it has already been done.

Iím so sorry.

 

With every move I make

I break someoneís heart

I just pick the soul and rip it apart

Iím so sorry.

 

You have gone through enough

I canít bear it any more

There is no love between us

I am closing the door.

Iím so sorry my child.

 

Maybe, in a spirit of repentance and reconciliation in preparation for Easter, some adults could find the courage to say the words the word that some children long to hear, ďIím so sorry.Ē